You don't know what you dont know
You also don't know that you are mistaken
You thought you know but actually you really dont know

How and what make people realise the above? How do we reduce the chances of falling into the above situation? How do we make an early come back after falling into it? Humble? Patient? Open mindedness? How do we jump out of the boxes that we have built for ourselves which has served us well all this while? How do we concurred the fear that we will be living without guideline and principles if we are to be open about any argument? Are we really living without guideline and principle if we were to be open minded about what people said?

Are we playing with our heads and making life difficult for ourselves? Are we supposed to ask these questions? Can we not go where people are and just hide behind them? Is that what I would want? Could I live with myself if I do that?

He said yes!!

My potential coachee finally said yes. For the past few days my stomach has been having this butterfly. I am not sure if he would say yes and I also do not want to act too anxious about the whole thing. It is a great relief when he said yes to be my coachee.

Now the next thing is what to say in the coaching session. Remember to shut up, shut up and shut up. Listen, listen and more listening!!!

IT's a HIM then!!!

Ultimately, I chose M as I think the experience would probably be more rewarding if this turns out well. Further, I think it would be a good opportunity for me to get inside his head and find out how he perceives life and what would motivate him and how should I deal with him. Am I suffocating him? Does he want more guidance? What would be the ideal environment for him to perform most efficiently?

Of course, the fear is still that I might just screw up and not do a good job but well I have to start somewhere and if I don't face it, I know i will just procrastinate and probably never do anything about it.

Now what I need is a plan, a plan that would allow him to talk freely and still get to the conclusion that I want?? No, I should be open to receive responses that may not lead to where I want. (Oh, this is so hard!!) I should not set up a trail so that he drop into my trap??? Less lawyerly like Beth said!!!

Ah, this is a lot easier said than done!!

To Orchestra a coaching experience

What do you need to prepare for a coaching session? The thought of it is daunting enough let alone planning for it. The first logical question is probably who is the coachee.

When I was told to choose a coachee, I have an internal battle. I have two options, one is a female subordinate (“F”) who has great potential and I think merely need some guidance here and there. The other is a male subordinate (“M”) who has presented some great work but have some disciplinary issues. If I choose F, it would probably be an easier task and it would not be unpleasant as it is no a correction mission. Whereas if I choose M, it could be more challenging. Do I avoid the tough one or should I confront it now or wait til I have more practice in coaching?

What’s the worst case? M hates me more? Ya, that would be the consequence that I could not face. Ah decision!! Decision!!

change finale

Last blog on the topic of change. To be honest, I think the key to change is really not about these theories but rather if you want to implement a change just do the following:-

(i) have a solid ground for change
(ii) what is the change
(iii) communicate this change
(iv) Put an end to the people who refuse to change

Simple and make sense?!

Communicate, Communicate & more Communicate

Ah! yet another week with another blog requirement. Really need to start on my assignment. I have borrowed a book from ULC. It’s called Making change happen one person at a time: assessing change capacity within your organisation by Bishop Charles, Jr but have not even have time to start reading it. Really need to make time for it.

Change is inevitable. After a long battle for a period that feels like century I thought I am going to give myself a break. No more change for a while. Well, one can plan and god will decide. Today is like any other day apart from the fact that I was running really late and need to drop off my children at the nanny’s place. Every morning, they would want me to go round a park before arriving at the nanny’s house but this morning I really don’t have the time to do that and all the previous experiences told me that my children will put up a good fight against my decision. Armed with this knowledge, I decided to explain to each of them separately the reason why I cant do the routine (the need for a change). As I took my time to explain to them and in fact even asked them if it is ok for me not to use the normal route. After tough negotiation, we agreed that they will agree for me to take the shortcut and I agree to let them have ice-cream in the evening.

Guess what it was great. No tantrum no fight and everyone hit the road happily. The lesson learnt, communicate, communicate and communicate!!

Perseverance!

How do you deal with someone who agrees to implement the change together with you on the surface but did the opposite in reality?

Remember one of the technique learnt is that to involve all your stakeholders early and try to include those that have strongest resistance. After all the reasoning, heated discussion and continue coaching and just when you think you have succeeded in getting through the hardest resistance of all, you found out that you are actually just kidding yourself. What do you do?

Persevere, persevere and persevere is the only way out!!!! Just like a Chinese saying “a drop of water can break a rock”, where there is a will, there is a way. Go! Go! Go!!!